The Archer Can't Use A Razor to Look For Inspiration
Here’s one for a first blog entry: How do you accidentally cut your lip with a Gillette Venus razor while trying to shave your legs? I don’t know, but I did it. Now my lips look like Sylvester Stallone’s. All I need now is a speech impediment and I’ll be all set for Rocky: The 100th sequel. Great. Thanks, Cosmic Order for making me a klutzy Sagittarian. The archer- hah! I’d probably end up poking my own eye out with an arrow.
Also, in regard to the conversation I had with The Alia the other day: The Alia, my friend, Elton John IS NOT COOLER than Freddie Mercury, he never was, never will be. In fact, he never was, never will be, even as cool as Freddie Mercury. Not even close second. Although yeah, Tiny Dancer is a good song.
And only my mother can turn an argument about Josh Hartnett having a stupid-looking face into one about my future. She fancies Josh Hartnett like a schoolgirl, probably for the same reasons I did when I was 14 (I have since learned the error of my ways). I said that while his face may be symmetrical (hence, technically attractive) he seemed to lack a certain something behind the eyes. He seems to lack substance (need I remind you of Pearl Harbor, the movie?). I called him stupid-looking. My mother vehemently defended him. She claimed he has a degree (in what?). Of course, I said, being in possession of a degree is in no way a testament to how intelligent one is. A degree doesn’t necessarily give one substance. One can have a degree and have no soul. Soul, baby, soul. The mother then tells me to “stop talking nonsense”. To paraphrase her: “Get your degree, first, Maryam. Until then, shut up.”
The wall in the living room is filled with pictures of my siblings but none of me. My dad says, only degree holders are given the honor of being on THE WALL. It doesn’t explain why my niece, who is barely three years old, is up there, though. Maybe because she’s cuter than I am and makes for more pleasant viewing. Maybe the whole degree-thing is just a baloney excuse. Maybe only the cute and photogenic are allowed up there and sorry, dear, you didn’t make the cut, especially with those new Sylvester Stallone-style lips of yours.
Oh yeah, and to everyone concerned about my future – stop. I’m not bumming, I’m ‘searching for inspiration’. (Actually, it sounds funnier when I say it in Malay, like I did to my mom: Ma, bukan menganggur, mencari ilham…)
Also, it’s funny how the Malay word for being unemployed/ bumming literally translates in English as grape-ing. What do grapes have to do with it?
The future isn’t bright. It’s dark. But it has a night light.
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“ Tu entre todos los seres tienes derecho a verme débil ”
(You among all beings have the right to see me weak).
- El Dano (The Hurt); Pablo Neruda
At least I think that’s what it means.
Also, in regard to the conversation I had with The Alia the other day: The Alia, my friend, Elton John IS NOT COOLER than Freddie Mercury, he never was, never will be. In fact, he never was, never will be, even as cool as Freddie Mercury. Not even close second. Although yeah, Tiny Dancer is a good song.
And only my mother can turn an argument about Josh Hartnett having a stupid-looking face into one about my future. She fancies Josh Hartnett like a schoolgirl, probably for the same reasons I did when I was 14 (I have since learned the error of my ways). I said that while his face may be symmetrical (hence, technically attractive) he seemed to lack a certain something behind the eyes. He seems to lack substance (need I remind you of Pearl Harbor, the movie?). I called him stupid-looking. My mother vehemently defended him. She claimed he has a degree (in what?). Of course, I said, being in possession of a degree is in no way a testament to how intelligent one is. A degree doesn’t necessarily give one substance. One can have a degree and have no soul. Soul, baby, soul. The mother then tells me to “stop talking nonsense”. To paraphrase her: “Get your degree, first, Maryam. Until then, shut up.”
The wall in the living room is filled with pictures of my siblings but none of me. My dad says, only degree holders are given the honor of being on THE WALL. It doesn’t explain why my niece, who is barely three years old, is up there, though. Maybe because she’s cuter than I am and makes for more pleasant viewing. Maybe the whole degree-thing is just a baloney excuse. Maybe only the cute and photogenic are allowed up there and sorry, dear, you didn’t make the cut, especially with those new Sylvester Stallone-style lips of yours.
Oh yeah, and to everyone concerned about my future – stop. I’m not bumming, I’m ‘searching for inspiration’. (Actually, it sounds funnier when I say it in Malay, like I did to my mom: Ma, bukan menganggur, mencari ilham…)
Also, it’s funny how the Malay word for being unemployed/ bumming literally translates in English as grape-ing. What do grapes have to do with it?
The future isn’t bright. It’s dark. But it has a night light.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“ Tu entre todos los seres tienes derecho a verme débil ”
(You among all beings have the right to see me weak).
- El Dano (The Hurt); Pablo Neruda
At least I think that’s what it means.
